Welcome to the jungle!

2009-10-04T22:06:00.002+08:00

i'm slowly getting the hang of the gaping hole that was left behind

another thing is

for fuck sake,
it was of no one to blame but just yours and mine,
dont bring in anyone,
specially those who are easily deceived by your persuasive bitch tone
and of course,
the one who was scared shitless
when he/she didnt do you any fucking wrong

wanna blame
blame me
i'll take the fight to somewhere where we can discuss like real adults,
where i can tell you again
i am my own ( and to God )
and no one else

2009-09-05T00:47:00.000+08:00

The painful memories
Of the tears of yesterday

2009-08-22T19:16:00.001+08:00

you come on,
and you go off
you reply,
but you wont talk
you give hope,
but show no sign of it
you say its over,
you think its not
you think there is motive,
but there is none
you feel bad,
but you're not alone
why do you ponder
when there is nothing left to be thought
you say its really over
but you just wont let it go

who am i?

haha

collapse by rise against is so awesome

2009-08-09T00:15:00.002+08:00

i could see she was special
though hands held tight till they sat around the table,
she started observing,
new restaurant,
go figure,

some laid eyes on her,
special she was she didnt care,
such young age,
she didnt care.

i just saw with curiosity, if she'll be like any normal little girls,
than what was curiosity turned into sympathy,
they didnt care as well,
they didnt care that people were looking,
they didnt care bout her,
though hands held tight when they entered,
they didnt care that she was at the table
they sat across from each other
inspecting the menu, he looked in front to discuss,
turned right to ask what his eldest wanted
she keep on reading,

she pulled the menu away,
he just pulled it back,
no eyes contact,
no words of frustration,
like an invisible force they all gotten used to,
too young to have so little attention, she turns to the reflection and grumbles
she sees me,
she didnt care

i left, looking back,
still that invisible force they've gotten used to

you have my sympathy.

2009-07-19T14:09:00.001+08:00

i'd rather risk illness and injuries
looking for the sunshine,
than stay under a warm shelter
and forever be drenched upon

wouldn't the rain agree?

2009-07-19T01:54:00.002+08:00

stepping back might be bad,
how bout we try going forward,
together
wont leave you behind,
wont let you get too far ahead either,
take a step at a time,
wont be too fast,
slow seems nice,
lets talk
lets just relax a little
please dont think what happened,
just thought what would be
possible

maaaaajoooooooonnnnngg

2009-07-11T14:02:00.003+08:00

haha, almost a month since i last update,
okay okay

nothing much happened really,
i lost my ipod haha
and got a new one
for a mere 80bucks
for a classic HAHAHA
rip off,
totally
haha

quarreled with my sis
still on cold war,
i must really have a thing for that,
cause mich still hates me haha
ok,
still does not believe things will work out
not hate

my relationship is still going so strong haha
im happy about it,
i cant say its foolproof,
i do have my insecurities,
maybe cause she's ever so outgoing
like as if any guy would fall for her kinda way,
but than again,
im not afraid haha
i love her

studies wise,
im in for a really really wild one

im having fun in school really,
im really really more enthusiastic to stay back inschool to study and play haha

im lazy to upload pictures hahah

They Don't Really Care About Us

2009-06-25T01:13:00.002+08:00

i had a very nice quiet birthda with mel
i really loved it,
thanks to those who wished
and thanks to those who fucking forgot

:D

naaah im just joking

i must say,
mich must be really annoyed to put me back on msn
and taking that for granted,
im still constantly msging her and talking thrash with her on msn,
im sorry
thn again
i have lots to tell her
than again
she still hates my guts
sigh

haha

mel seems okay with it though,
i thought she'd be in the whatever mood,
rather she gave me the oh! great mood
i love her, to the max
very very much
now i wouldnt exactly wanna go into details of what we did or how we spend our time together
i'll just say we still love each other :D
very much

haha

i always end with that shit

2009-06-06T09:54:00.003+08:00

"see me dunno how to say hi ha"
"you dial number very slow ah"
"it's been awhile"
"can you talk??"
"i prayed everyday that we'll get back together"
"how are you?"
"it's been so long"
"think i've fallen for you?"
"i'm doing my homework"

poof

dreams..

bitch thing makes it feels as real as you think it is.

2009-06-04T01:06:00.000+08:00

i had to post something since someone said it was dead hahaa

i'll really update more the next time

for now, lets just say im stressed out by certain issues and matters.

2009-05-06T19:24:00.001+08:00

i didnt even think it was a month already
since you're happier this way
than
whatever makes you happy.

i didnt even realise till someone else saw it haha

i'll see you around, or not.

2009-04-27T22:40:00.000+08:00

likewise :p

2009-04-19T20:46:00.001+08:00

CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!
CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!
CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!
CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!
CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!
CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!
CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!
CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!
CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!
CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!
CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!
CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!CHECKPOINT!

can you find the secret message ?

this one is for you asshole hha

2009-04-13T23:29:00.001+08:00

You're still my best friend i went out of my way to love.

2009-04-03T02:07:00.002+08:00

There once lived a selfish protanganist,
gutless,
ignorant,
weak.

nonetheless he came across two monsters,
weird enough he fell in love with one,
and forged a strong friendship with the other.

seasons passed,
contraversies unfolds,
he tried to be noble,
tried a white lie,
"No! I promise! I meant what I've said, the other monster is fine with you!"
"I see through your lies human, deceiving you maybe not for yourself but for the other,
I see no hope in you, leave you I would"
In utter anger he felt bitten,
than again questions why he has to go through it,
he turned to the only taget deemed possible to
withstand his sharp words,
and sparing no thoughts and yelled,
"It was your fault all along"
Calm may the ice monster be,
she replied in her stone hard tone,
"I'm not to be blamed for your wrong doings!"

"i've regret everything, everything and you!
I'm going to search for the other monster,
and you be gone,
i can take no more!"
the protanganist turned in search of the other monster to apologise and repent..
The ice monster just grinned, smirk, giggled,
"just what you ordered exactly."
turned and walked out on him

After regaining much of the other monsters trust,
he much deeply pondered on about what he did,
He starts to regret what he has said,
but knowing no way back
He ran to the top of an icy hill and yelled,
"Have i regained her love and trust,
have i lost yours in the process,
time shall not turn back
and neither shall you,
Since I have placed my own demise upon myself,
I hope this grudge shall end,
I have wronged you,
you deserve more than that,
how i've tried to talk things through,
but my soft words come running back from your cold icy edge,
i know i've been given a chance,
twice or three times,
im tired to just keep up the pace,
maybe we meet again i pray,
though you pray otherwise to avoid pain and tears,
I wish you the best for finding a companion who will hang on to you,
a companion that handles the coldness better than i do
i'm sorry my friend,
i really did love you"

Knowing he have wronged,
lied,
became selfish,
heartless,
he went on to a cosy corner
he went on to cry.

HAHAHA MY FIRST COMPOSITION SINCE SEC SCHOOL AHAHAH
boring siaaaa,
i'll blog bout other stuff soon when i have photos or when i can remember :D

2009-03-10T11:02:00.002+08:00

been awhile since i posted something.

my good friend is going to the army soon,
thats sad.
my new room sucks
thats sad too.

friendship wise,
couldnt get better than this
cant say im contented but i cant ask or more.
i guess its more than enough.

i've been rotting real bad these days from junk food and games

p.s. im kinda jealous now too, g'luck with that searching of a mate lol

2009-02-15T17:04:00.000+08:00

I tasted chocolate,
not caramel.

2009-02-08T00:38:00.003+08:00

i thought of something in the toilet.

at this point,
most of us are nobody
however if you have a special someone who loves you
at least you made 1 person out of the entire world's population to love you
that's something
now you're somebody
chin up and get motivated to do other stuff

for the loveless
i bet you pretty much have someone in mind
work towards her
you love her
that one person out of the entire worlds population
thats something too
now you're somebody too

to love is not easy
to be loved is not as well
you need to experience to understand

ok now we're all somebody.
and im not making sense,
goodnight

2009-02-03T23:24:00.002+08:00

i'm not sure if it'll make any sense but here goes

this is in relation to leon's post haha

ok,
to me,
a girlfriend is indeed someone to love, someone to hold and someone to care for
it's agreeable that we see that values in family and friends,
however you might see it
it'll be different

when you love someone, apart for family,
you have to agree that you do occasionally have the urge to love someone outside that circle of yours,
be it through a stranger or a close friend.
dont say no,
it happens.
however if you dont know love,
i can roughly tell you whats it like
when you love,
you dont expect it to be returned,
its a one way road
for my current situation
i love her whole heartedly
of course i expect alittle "profit' from it
like her likeing it or being touched
but i do bear in mind that these are feelings that might never be received on my end
however i still do it
because i want to
i call that love
something you'll not show to anyone else but that girlfriend/boyfriend

yes there are love in other ways like to family and friends
for family,
that love is the appreciation for their care and concern over the many useless years of our lives
for friends,
its the need to show that you'll support them through tough times like how they did for you
and the chemistry you have among ourselves that led to us hanging out together.

for that special someone however,
its the need that surges through your body to push you to your limit of loving someone,
knowing it might never be returned,
and to let he/she know you'll be there for her even if you just met
its that need to look over her and make sure no harm gets in the way.
sure,
it's starting to look more like a sibling/parental point of view
thats where people come up with god bro, etc etc
for some cases i agee they have the closeness and the natural platonic resonance to thier relationship
on more occasional cases i call it a fucking lame excuse to move on a step closer to her.
no offence to those who has his god bro and sis stuff( to people who values sibling relationship)
screw the rest.
i know some might find this pointless or not agree to all this
but if you do think alittle
or remember,
girlfriend makes you feel the way none of your family and friends can
unless you havent felt it
than you should try harder

i really dunno what im talking now,
maybe its cause i have someone i really love someone and forgot how being single was like
(i'm still single )
so im saying a gf is good and that no one can replace that feelings
like how im sulking about the sweet grapes i cant reach and claiming its sour
if you do remember the moral behind it
i dunno how it goes haha
or than again
people could have never fallen in love therefore
thinks such feelings can be easily replaced with other stuff.

and yes,
best friends can be girlfriends
or boyfriends
its easy,
both party has to be willing to move on from the platonicness
or one side has to fight on fucking hard till the other side gives in
im halfway through and going strong by the way.
another thing is,
you sure any ol' stranger on the street can read you inside out and knows you better than anyone else on how to love you and stuff like that
putting aside your soulmate
its impossible
the odds are 1 : (world's current population)

than again, no offense
it's just a view

than again, its just a view

than again, i havent a clue

than again, i just do what i think is right
life is to short to hesistate,
i learnt it the hard way.

my back aches

2009-01-24T11:00:00.002+08:00

since someone is bickering bout me not updating
so im updating
im in love
and doing well
coping well with work
friends are great
getting very sporty
losing abit of weight
very hungry right now
trimmed my loser hair
and i'll let mel update the rest

2009-01-16T20:34:00.002+08:00

I'M GONNA BLOG IN CAPS.

I'M TRULY AN IDIOT. I'M PROUD TO BE ONE AND WITH NO REGRETS.

SOCCER SUCKED, MY LEGS HURT.

I LOVE TO HUG MY TEDDY BEAR EVERY NIGHT. I NAME HER "HELL GATE." AIN'T THAT SUCH AN ADORABLE NAME.

I LOVE MY HELL GATE.

I'M BEGINNING TO LOVE BARBIE DOLLS AND I THINK I'M IN LOVE WITH ZAC EFRON.

(I'm not who you think i am)

2009-01-03T10:53:00.002+08:00

*sudden urge to shit*
brb
....
.............
.......
..............
..
...
still feel bad lol

anyway,
recently i've chatted with my sis abit
made me realize even the hottest of women
can be so weak and fragile inside
so i need to be nicer.

i've nothing much to write about these days,
no break through on anything yet
went out with mel to art friend to get some art stuff,
very fun,
now i feel gay.
lazy to post pictures
this post is kinda boring too
ok bye

2009-01-01T17:45:00.004+08:00

It's the start of a new year and i'm feeling damn fresh, with the stinky air at home now. I'm rotting my fat ass in front of my computer now. I shall blog more often. It's been a fantastic 2008! Looking forward to a new year filled with craziness, love, happiness and more money! HAHAHAHAHA! I shall spread the love babeyyyy!

Tomorrow school until 1pm, one word, bullshit. SUPER BS!

Can't they give us a break tomorrow and start school next week!? (What have i turned into?) I'm complaining like a girl now! It's ok i have to admit, i'm turning gay. I guess i need medication to change my hormones back to normal. HAHAHAHAHA!

I'm melissa. I spammed into beaumont's blog. It feels great to do this! HAHAHAHAHA! I guess this is one of the crazy things i'm gonna do in 2009!

2008-12-26T01:55:00.002+08:00

I WANNA SING IN A BAND!!
than again its a far off dream

christie had a gig and decided to so called "surprise" him by asking him
do you still have tickets left?
well, HELL YEA
great gig but the fucking organisers didnt let the play thier own song
due to time constrains.
the next was a band consisting of all under 18
mostly just 13,
they played well
makes me wanna really go out and stab myself
than the next was a really instrumental and passionate band
so passionate the lead snapped his string
good though,
next was travin's teacher's band
talk bout coincidence,
great music haha

oh yes, i went with jeff and travin
but we headed our own ways and i went on to meet zf and jr
as usual
we crap,
crap more,
eat,
take photos,
crap more,
crapped
home.

well day before yesterday was the MOST GRUELLING DAY
of 2008
yea, that word exist, google it.
yea,
its shit terrible to worry for someone and not ask at all till the end of the day when
you finally get the chance to do so and
only to be informed that i could have done so WAY EARLIER.
i worked hard that night though. for something.

THE NEXT DAY WAS FREAKKING AWRRREEESUUUUUUME
YES!man.
simple,
5/5,
now go watch it.
i spent the day with mel,
details on her blog.

another topic now.
I WANT MICHELLE BACK TO NORMAL!
ok

liquor goes so damn well with singing.
now i need the pills,
than again liquor is good enough haha

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO WHOEVER READS MY BLOG,
I DUNNO WHO DOES BUT YEA :D
even if its like a super small bunch of like 5,
merry christmas to you too :D

2008-12-19T22:35:00.000+08:00

SOCCER WAS AWESSSOME
AND I TOOK CARE OF MYSELF!

what are you up to anyway?

2008-12-12T13:06:00.000+08:00

I'm turning back
shouldn't have started to begin with

:D

2008-12-11T18:45:00.001+08:00

oh ho ho
im so getting sick
hours in the rain with soccer
whats next should be pretty much predictable,
unless my immune system proves me wrong

my evenings are so lonely again.

2008-12-10T12:02:00.001+08:00

Now than I get confused
frustrating

Street Of Dreams
by GnR

great lyrics and song

i really cant help but feel dead sometimes

2008-11-30T23:43:00.003+08:00

i felt like being nice today,
so i bought double chocolate and visit shixian at her house,
without notice though
than we chatted awhile and i went home to deal with ideation,
met with sham and travin
bought a new game,
or rather,
traded for a new one
played alittle and im here.

(personal comments)

damn i hate typing shit like this.

another thing,
my head chef asked me a question
cash or family,
i'd love to have chose family
but due to my upbringing and materialistic side
i chose cash
for a good reason,
i'd rather suffer alone and make my family happy,
it's not noble,
i've always love others before myself,
and since its family,
its worsts.

same goes for friends.

(this was suppose to be a rant bout being single but since my situation is not very favourable i have removed a whole chuck of it)

sigh

I can see clearly now that the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way,
the previous line is just fucked,
what so good bout seeing obstacles you cant pass hahaha

2008-11-29T23:20:00.003+08:00

ok
i'm currently in the mood to blog alittle
and shall not let it waste away.

first up,
i've been spending so much time with mich now after her work hahaha
now whose nice now hahaha
ahaha love you :D

and im so broke,
my mum cut my pocket money from a 70 to a 50
and im demanding back my 20 hahaha

i bought new boots and i scored a goal,
damn it was great aaha
on the other hand ,
my toe hurts
new blisters on old haha
but im still fond of this sport

work load has been heavy and i cant find time
or rather im just too fucking lazy
but nonetheless i shall not be like him and not do any at all

school life, hmm it's been great :D
my friends are all one of a kind,
most of em have problem with their love life,
i cant say i dont have too, but mine has more or less settled
and i love it,
slowly i guess.
sham, he on the other hand never seem to let us indulge on his story
or rather he's gay ahhaha

my friend christie has a new single called "Fallen Back" - Paranoid Vision
look'em up on myspace
its good :D
now i need to get paid for saying all these haha

leon, christie, travin, louis, jeff, weeshin,
(didnt think i leave you losers out eh)
oh yes,
including the girl,
they're all ghey,
cept for jiamin, she my sister,
i dont wanna die just yet.

everything seems all too nice eh,
yea theres a spike in this nice rift going on here,
he proberbly knows im refering to him,
he fucking reads my blog too,
as he also did know i was refering to him in my previous-previous post
ahahha
yea,
sorry to say but im not scheming whatever shit you think i am
man whatever it is you're thinking man, we, not you and me, dont really care.

:D
God bless all of us, yes, including you too,
im not as bad as you(think).

man that felt good.

pictures ? another time

2008-11-25T21:01:00.000+08:00

Days have passed and so much have happened
i dont really remember but i had fun
she's not ignoring me again :D

all is good

update longer the next time hahah

2008-11-13T21:48:00.001+08:00

CURSE YOU MOTHER FUCKER!
GO DOWN
GO DOWN
JUST LEAVE HER ALONE FUCKBAG

_l_

2008-11-10T22:56:00.000+08:00

a break inbetween a 3 hour boring lesson

need i explain more?

2008-11-02T23:33:00.002+08:00

Couple of things to say,

Michelle forgives me :D

school reopened and yes my schedule aint that bad after all

theres was this sec3 attachment programme
and im part of the fun :D

i got to know 3 nice ladies,
or rather girls.

and i hung out with my IMT friends more often
and also went out with jr and zf as usual,

theres something im forgetting,
and yes the latest update has gotta be boring cause i didnt emphasize much

love to both Ms'

and i promise to whoever reads my blog ever so occasionally
to update more frequently

:D
life aint that bad after all

2008-10-14T08:59:00.006+08:00

We went out on Jr's so called last day of freedom haha

lazy bum

sexy legs

heh

zf arrives

d'oh...

royal public rampage

BALOON-jr

BALOON-zf

if you're wondering where the baloon went,
i opened it and inhaled the helium :D fun

doofus!

OH MY GOD
whose hot body is that!??
(its jr's sis by the way)

heheheh cheeky face eh

idiot 1

idiot2

crotches unite

jeremy, our stylist slave!

tyrant stylist, Kat

our fucking first proper group photo

this one is weird

zf spoiled the "cool" picture lol

didnt know this would happen
i'm lazy to post the other few so we shall more on to dinner!

what cha starin at?!

no suitable description for such beastly actions ahhaha

she is kinda cute at certain angles

nice picture eh?!? HAHAH MY HANDS TOOK THIS HAHA

worst hot pot and bbq ever

still we feasted

yea, thats my table, figures

thinking bout clair?! HAHHA

finger up to those who didn't wanna come HAHAH
i meant it.

AND MY GOD I REGRET NOT TAKING PHOTOS WITH THIS CUTE GIRL AT THE FROLICK SHOP, GODDAMMIT SHE WAS SO SWEET TO ME, SMILED SO SWEETLY, ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

2008-10-12T10:47:00.002+08:00

Can't you believe me ?
Can't we just leave this behind ?
Can't you see I'm sincere ?

I can't lose you now Michelle,
You're really irreplaceable.

2008-10-11T01:11:00.002+08:00

I am not happy without you
definately not,
i dont want this to end,
i really dont,
i dont have her yet,
im not getting through to her yet.

i still need you very much
i again sincerely apologise for whatever i've done
at least tell me whats wrong so i can apologise properly and at least explain

sarcasm
right
i used it only cause i was pissed
so what if its messed up and annoying with you
SHE's worst haha

you just sounded cold and i was sensitive
thus
over reacting
sorry again.

SHE'S NOT REALLY MY NEW BESTIE
feels gay to say that on a blog..

im really sorry,
i can't really lose you now

i'm not happy

2008-10-09T14:39:00.000+08:00

hmm
*stares blankly as he continues to type*
i need to shit

:D

2008-10-04T23:26:00.002+08:00

this is going nowhere
and i hate it
and these feverish feelings are happening more often than asked for.

complaining dosent mean shit though
it is just another form on venting frustration than resuming where i left off

i dont feel too good though

2008-10-03T23:16:00.001+08:00

"Get used to it soon, and i'll wait however long it takes"

that was simple, yet so true lol
IM SERIOUS

2008-10-02T11:58:00.002+08:00

Children's day was a chore,
worked my ass off for free meals to kids
oh how i hated it
and to think i actually enjoyed it few years back
pfft lol

its hari raya,
she went to visit and i was left alone
hung up beside my handphone
SO LONELY
some friend she is lol
she's great nonetheless
(i said it cause she said it too)

oh ya and a couple of equations;
MEL = loser+moron+idiot+vainbot+craziness+eccentric+many other weird stuff
therefore = what i really like alot

and
MEL+ makeup = shiny shiny face HAHAH

2008-09-25T23:06:00.004+08:00

I DON'T REALLY CARE WHAT YOU SAY
SINCE YOU DON'T CARE BOUT WHAT I SAY EITHER

TODAY:
SUN TANNED
ZF REBONDING SESSION
GRUESOMELY LONG

shy bastards

need i explain more ?

this one is for the record melissa (:

2008-09-24T23:47:00.001+08:00

REMEMBER I SAID THERE WERE 2 THINGS I HAVE TO SAY?
MAKE THAT 3,
I DO LOVE YOU.
CHOP CHOP PLUS STAMP
HAHA

WANT ME TO REMIND THE OTHER 2?

2008-09-12T01:49:00.002+08:00

I'm reading this book called Twilight, and now on the sequel New Moon(both very worth reading)
than i re-called the reason why i decided to take up a book,
1; nicole's recommendation, cant just ignore
2;to escape from what im enduring right now.

thats where the irony comes into play,
i'm actually pretty envious of the love life portrayed in the book,
trying to run away just always brings me back to square one
which seriously seriously
sucks.

this heart throbbing experience is not an experience i'd like but still i hang on
how irony and hypocrisy revolves around our life and still we reject and condemn it's very part in it

2008-09-09T09:58:00.002+08:00

last week has been boring
i dont see why this week wont be the same.

this is for my friend
Pink is the new Black

i miss all my close friends

are there really no affections ?
i can't tell.

2008-08-26T20:16:00.001+08:00

Its so cramped up these days
I seriously cant breathe
I can't get out and let others know
I only can keep it to myself.

Its still so cramped.

2008-08-20T01:57:00.006+08:00

Havent really updated lately so here it is.

had a meal with my friend and went home.

the day before was awsome though,
the first time i hung out with my new friends outside of tp
we walked around and slacked than we arrived at toys'r'us hahah

Leon feels no fear at the edge of a plastic axe hahha

you see how nicely it fits to louis' and christie's face but not mine and leons ?haha

CHRISTIE MUST DIE!

this has got to be one of my few pictures with other people haha
ignore that and check out the 2 girls at the back instead, mmmhmmm daaaaaamn

its late, ciao

2008-08-12T23:42:00.002+08:00

**something something**
**something something**

AND THE COW JUMPS OVER THE MOON

however she proves us wrong when she landed on the moon instead
squashing the moon
so the moon felt bad and wated to make up for it by being nicer and sweeter to the moon.

:D

In honour of Canice Chow

HAHAH

2008-08-12T23:23:00.001+08:00

CANICE CHOW NEEDS TO TELL ME HER PROBLEMS MORE OFTEN.

2008-08-12T23:10:00.000+08:00

CANICE CHOW ROCKS MY WORLD!

and she's paying me to do this. (:

2008-08-11T00:17:00.002+08:00

FLASH VIDEO ABOUT TO BE DONE, GODDAMMIT YEAAAAAAA
national day was awsome, i mean who wouldnt like spending the night being gay and getting killed ?
an man has nicole grow up hahaha xD
(i wanna eat her)
AND chow faster top up your card man.

2008-08-10T19:20:00.002+08:00

everyday is a good day,
yesterday was the best.

2008-07-29T00:01:00.000+08:00

I know he can't love you like, quite like i can.

2008-07-27T23:44:00.000+08:00

Love stories makes my heart ache
speeds makes me thrilled
death excites me
im not having it good with my love life
can it get any worst?
oh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

2008-07-17T19:44:00.000+08:00

SLASH WEARS CONVERSE!!!!
that's so cool.

and im feeling way better than before, thanks to chow which made me notice some stuff hahah

THANK YOU!! and happy belated birthday to chow.

2008-07-15T22:11:00.002+08:00

Don't look down on me
(pity me)

I'm not alone
(i'm so lonely)

I'm over it long before i knew it
(it hurts to see them all the time)

Music fills up my time.
(with sad and broken songs)

i did it on purpose and intention
(i didn't know what i was up to)

i did try
(i fear)

dont say i didnt try now
(i avoided in fear)

It was the right thing to do
(i regret)

they're happy
(but im not)

i smile
(i cry)

i forced a smile ???
(can you tell?)

(:
(i can't look, its killing me)

2008-07-12T20:13:00.002+08:00

I'm getting sick of everything.
i need to shift out of "if they are happy, than you are too" kind of mode before i literally kill myself from the inside.
I'd rather nothing ever happen and back to the days where i could never feel such emotions.
tight chest makes me uneasy.

i love it but i hate that taste,

maybe cause its not mine.

i toy my own emotions,

im such a sore loser.

2008-07-09T15:32:00.002+08:00

the song Ordinary by Train has been running through my mind
and lines like "everybody seems to be getting what they need where's mine" or an alternative one is "everybody seems to be getting what they need with mine" seem to bother me alot hahhaa.
a hell lot.

hmm.

i guess i'm being too paranoid and stuff.

2008-07-06T00:48:00.003+08:00

today was whacked out!
Jr came over to play winning eleven 08,
than we left for parkway parade at 4 plus 5 to meet
than waved to 3 random girls out of the blue and laughed our asses off.
THE Melissa.
(yes, im not wrong with my english, she is indeed an object of fun, stupidity and monstrosity all packed in a small body, aint no girl at all.)
IM JUST KIDDING XD.
meet her nice family.
had a meal went back to TM and ate earthquake.
yea, one hell of a meal.
send her back and play around her void deck like crazy monkeys
nearly got lost
than .. went home , yay!
and now im back here.

good night assholes.

as for the other days i didnt update,
both good and bad things happen,
deal with it.

2008-06-27T22:05:00.002+08:00

I have move on, ok, no, gotten over my infatuation for her.
confessions does wonders hah.

I still do look for that someone who can make my heart ache so damn bad,
and this time, i wont jump into the one sided thing no more.

dont feel like im making sense.

i was on a video and noticed how geeky, ok maybe i am, and idiotic i was.
I'll try to be normal from here on out.

hungry

2008-06-17T02:24:00.002+08:00

Confessions of the blind and regretful.

nice line eh.
heh.

weird things happened and the class outing today was one of 'em
kaven surprised me with a belatated birthday surprise and smashed my cake with chocolate cake.

i'll smash his balls.

i feel at ease though.
released from some sort of turmoil i so willingly placed myself in 2 years back.
though i might so willingly return to the very hell only i and i only will ever see and experience,
very soon.

for now,
i've never felt so relaxed.

2008-06-07T20:12:00.001+08:00

nothing is more important than what im thinking of right now,
not even my birthday.

nothing else, seriously.

2008-05-23T20:29:00.003+08:00

This week was the best since my poly life took flight.
though the web application test pissed me off
but im cool with that.
wednesday we went down to my sis birthday chalet
that i had to quick cups of mixed shots of 42BELOW(kiwi)
DAMN
it was good
but it got me all red so i had to leave the room before my mum arrive
than my mum arrived...
so i ran out and past her ahha
slack outside
played alittle pool
than finally went back when i was all better
thats when i played with my sister
like really play
like kids
she whacked me
i couldnt touch that idiot.
than we blew the candles and went on home.

THURSDAY!
got on with school
than back to the chalet
this time i took a clean shot of the vodka
lucky i could hold it in well
than got a couple more mixed than did my writorial
some report writing crap
i looked drunk but wasent,
serious
went back to drink more
i kept lying down cause my head was heavy but just couldnt sleep
than joined my sister friends to play BAN LUCK!
the losers had to drink crazy mixtures of liquor
like
heineken+bailey irish cream+42BELOW+martini+crackers+potatochips
+raibina+lime syrup+coke
IN A CUP
=
a serious load of crap not meant to be taken too much but we did anyway.
the rest left ,
leaving my sis, her bf, sx , yap, zf and me
sis and bf went for late night supper
i continued my late night drinking of martini
they came back
i slept on the cold hard unforgiving floor.
details after that are boring and irrelevent.
i wasent drunk but was on the high

hangover SUCK.
my faraway dad can be a bitch at very happy moments

2008-05-03T22:13:00.002+08:00

DIP CAMP for IMT
wooooooooo

wasent as bad,
emo-ed the 1st half
turned better in the latter part of the camp.

prata at night taste good.

im too lazy to emphasize on the camp, its was not as bad as one would think lol.

i miss a certain friend (:
(happy now?)

p.s. im alittle tired and lazy to type well or sound normal,so...yea.

2008-04-04T14:46:00.001+08:00

I'll never feel comfortable around you again.
but this time i brought this upon myself.
no argueing about that,
i dont know my limits,
thats all.

2008-04-04T01:33:00.002+08:00

Two days back,
the sky was bleached white,
very rare sight if you ask me.

Hooked on this song called Wind, by Akeboshi.
It's english, but bad english,
but theres life and a nice...something,
that comes from voice and music,
some comments say his voice has a soul.
so cool.

gogo, listen to Wind now,
familiar to some cause its a Naruto ending theme.

sayonara.for now.

2008-03-31T00:38:00.002+08:00

i've made myself very confused over this past week,
i'm clearly not in a right state of mind to think of anything.
over this past month i have kept wondering what( or rather who )
i'm looking for.

2 months passed,
wrinkled fingers and roughed hands,
and it felt as if i just thought about it only.
not an answer yet ever so intrigued by my self doubt and questions.

as for what,
my only clue would be how far i can get with myself in future.
as for who,
my only clue would be the height of the girl who danced all night in my dreams with me.

this post has enough crap to be called long post.

"it's times like these you learn to live again
it's times like these you give and give again
it's times like these you learn to love again
it's times like these time and time again".

2008-03-10T22:35:00.002+08:00

I will head back to the east for studies,
AGAIN.
did it once when i was 11,
now im going back again 6 years later for the same reasons,
just different schools this time.

God bless whoever needs it .

2008-02-07T22:38:00.000+08:00

Chinese New Year!
and im not very into it at all.

past few days have been very ,
sad i think.
lol

i wanna go visit friends house ((::
and i have absolutely nothing to write about
dong dong chiang.

check this out (:
if this seems nice to you guys than i might continue wearing like this (:

out of a 10 i at least deserve a 2 LOL
oh man makes me look older eh

2008-01-01T01:12:00.000+08:00

i'm seriously bored these days,
first things first,
moon is specially bright on christmas,
and ..... nothing else actually.

gee,
i came to blogger for nothing..
**wrecks his brain for alittle juicy info**
..nil.
i miss her, alot.

AH, i remember!
someone considered me as a friend, how niceee
and seriously this is pointless, next time.

i feel rich and i wanna spend .

2007-12-17T01:14:00.001+08:00

been awhile since i posted any shit in here.
and just for the sake of keeping this alive,
im posting.
last time i remember was that cause i didnt have the mood to post bout anything,
just didnt want to let some who-haa know what im up to.
but now,
i just wanna write some shit.
i miss school,
thats why.
miss everyone and everything,
from dear friends to hot teachers.(theres only one hot teacher in our school, go figure.)
been feeling abit better since a friend called me from farfaraway.
though i know my friend called me out of conveniance,
or so she explained that way.
but still i felt great,
i caught up with some friends too AND IM PLANNING A DAMN OUTING...
ALONE! damn..
i know this sweet girl at work,
wanna try to get to know her more,
without mistaking it to others as hitting on her.
sheesh,
friends are hard to...
get ?
so close yet so far sounds better.
i wanna see how big the world is.
for that,
i wanna fly.

2007-11-24T01:35:00.000+08:00

I wanna live somewhere away from here(maybe america**snickers**)

A place where i can see the night skies

so dark and red, so enticing.

2007-11-22T21:11:00.000+08:00

Well, since my friend didn't like my opening up,
imma vent my doubts and regrets here.
i've been feeling useless and as if i have nothing to look forward to anymore,
my friends feeling has started to fade yet mine has not subside.
i'm not exactly sure if they don't feel shit no more but i certainly see nothing.

well , i'm now watching an anime called honey & clover, this is good, this is one show that i recommend all to watch, even those who don't watch cartoons.
not only me but i bet many others can relate themselves to this anime, in doubt of life and love,
th show will either show you your story through the screens or might even provide alternatives to tackle problems you see familiar in your life.

i have a hunch that this ain't the end, and i bet more is gonna leave.

i dont see my future the way it is right now, i dont see my future with people i have right now.

i dont see shit.

2007-11-21T00:23:00.000+08:00

Who knew heading out to work today could stir up so much in me today.
First of all, i think there is a curse in the apron of the head chef i work for.
for the first time,
i scald myself for three times or maybe four
(a blob of burning oil found it way to my hand),
being in pain and all leads me to my next topic i had in mind,
being in pain DOES NOT MEAN IT TAKES YOU AWAY FROM IT,
this is meant for those wrist slitting lovers,
it does not take away emotional pains,
its just reminding you of the reasons that made you cut yourself.
That is why people of an older age resort to self-indulgence rather than
blood spilling ecstasy.

indulging in work to forget is also not a proper way for amateurs like me.

on and on i go through bout things that went through my mind today,
i still cant get over the fact you're not around here(referring to country) anymore.

i hate everything

2007-11-19T22:52:00.000+08:00

Today is a day that will go into my history books,
today,
someone who meant so much to me left this God forsaken country,
today,
is one damn sucky day.(cause someone left)
It kinda suck when you start to regret and shit,
babbling on bout that little hope that you didn't grasp,
that possibility of changing things.
Love i didn't know how to express,
regrets i did not voice,
all builds up within me,
making me feel sick in the guts.
Though ten years down the road i might laugh bout it with my friends i miss now,
now it just hurts so much more than i thought it would,
so much more..

P.S. im saving up cash to head east (: wait for me.

2007-11-16T14:24:00.000+08:00

ahaa that is what i call quality ice-cream!

well yesterday i went swimming with jr (:
I COULDN'T SURVIVE A FULL LAP!

later we went shopping with wan yi(see we're so nice)
and they bought a couple of stuff.
through and through it was a good day (:
my feelings are clashing inside out ,
not knowing when to show or not to.

ciao-ssu

2007-11-11T13:47:00.000+08:00

i'm working 3-10 today,

what kind of crap is that shit.

i'm not out of the picture yet,
let alone the need to be enlightened by
you.

2007-11-09T20:51:00.000+08:00

Today passed,
too damn slowly.
Ached all over,
can't help deny the fact i'm an
idiot.
Depressed
is not a good word,
envious
sounds better than
jealousy.

The night sky,
looks like a broken puzzle.

2007-11-08T23:17:00.000+08:00

this song is good, old, but good. awsome bass and guitar. good singing. GO MUSE!

2007-11-04T19:33:00.002+08:00

i found a cool lyric by Billy Talent: Lies.

this part is nice.

Lies make it better
Lies are forever
Lies to go home to
Lies you wake up to
Lies from the alter
Lies makes you falter
Lies keep your mouth fed
Lies till your death bed
Lies

2007-11-04T19:15:00.000+08:00

It's funny how past experiences hunts you till now.

To think i would do something about it.

To think i could do it.

To think it was all for naught.

I'm not to anyone's disposal.

Everything changes.

2007-11-03T23:49:00.000+08:00

"I'll pluck your eyes out if you watch me eat"

ah-ha! a glam shot. dont blame me, you agreed.

food and desert!! or whats left of it..

well,
finally i went out after so much mugging,
though it cant be compared to the amount other people mug,
still,
i got a break.
jr decided to visit my primary school friend,
MeiYan.
so we met up with the cow,
and head on to the crowded sushi place she was working in.
than went home.
i know it sounds boring.
but it was nice to me,
so get a hike if you're against it.

it was nice seeing my friend again (:

2007-10-22T16:40:00.000+08:00

i can't live on without conversations. (:

2007-10-21T22:56:00.000+08:00

and i didnt expect God to answer my previous post so quickly.
:) / :(

2007-10-21T14:07:00.000+08:00

IM DEAD BORED!!!!!

BRING ME OUT!!!!

ANYWHERE!!!!

STUDY?

I DONT MIND!!!!!

TAKE ME AWAY!!!!!!

2007-10-19T23:39:00.000+08:00

I'll play a real one, one day that is.

Choo Choo !

Yea enjoying my childhood alright.

BLOW AND DIE DIE DIE!!

We're the Fantastic Duo .

HE IS A FATHER OF A DOLL
and a husband to a manequin .

oo la la .

CHRISTMAS IS COMING, REJOICE !

ahhaha we had fun today.
this time wan yi came up with a suggestion of going down to causeway to have pizza.
long long taxi ride.
and we ate and went to toy stores and stuff.
haha.
turned off by the topic they were talking bout during our meal.

AND
i went down to macs to study with michelle.
feels weird but i like studying.
feels like crap when i foun out some stuff.
felt worst now im infront of this stinking comp.
not cause of the comp by the way.
cause of some other stupid stuff.

sigh*
ciao .

2007-10-13T21:48:00.000+08:00

today was boring.i have the urge to change today and i did,
well some only.
this moment in time it feels like God up there repeated history itself right smack in my face,
and i'm not letting this one go,
not like the last one.

i won't commit the same mistake twice.

went out yesterday, with jr and canice.
felt really weird on the inside,
so empty and blanked out.
i was rejected by this jap/singaporean guy who owns a cool sushi bar,
so we didnt get to eat awsome sushi
guess we're too "poor" looking.
dinner that day took longer than usual.

Quotes from Miss Soh's lecturer:
The universe does not contain the man,
He contains the universe

2007-10-10T17:24:00.000+08:00

someone is happy.bwahahaha.

last night was terrible.
but i ran away to the comfort and safety of my blanket as usual.
my mums boyfriend is pissed and my sis is having relationship problems.
than i thought to myself,
after all i have been through my entire life so far,
what is this compared to my past ?
haha.
i slept well thanks to God(:
hi-5 dude.

a line from a song:
waited and i waited the longest night.

2007-10-08T17:19:00.000+08:00

hey this is just a test

lallala

2007-10-06T09:54:00.000+08:00

what is jr so shy about? unless.....ho ho ho
pervert in cubical
pervert trying to chase me away
random photo
i like this random photo
this is no special effect..maybe just alittle
she was thinking of a song, i know it. cause she sang after that
this picture, is for me to escape from the shop. if you get what i mean

farewell assembly kinda suck cause i didnt have my glasses on. but i did see my picture in the slides...sheesh. after that i went down to my mums place to make a new pair of glasses. i have 2 how. a black frame and a similar model of oaklay but its not lol. cost my mum a 300 dollar hole in her pocket. we head on down to yishun to meet kaven and canice. i have no idea why he wanted to invite her but still it was fun having her around. who wouldn't love a clam chowder/clown/weirdo who laughs too much/ shortie around? wahhaha we should go out like this sometimes. and balls of fury SUCK

ciao

2007-09-30T20:14:00.000+08:00

freaky ? i know . this came across by accident when my friends and i on the way back to school.

which reminds me that next week is my last week in school. i'm regretting and all ya know.. not making full use of my four years and such. if i'd had just hang out with jr and zf earlier, i would have already experienced this strong feelings i have now for this girl. i cant say im in love but ..iono, just something i never felt before, not even with my family.

i can say im a heartless bitch, so many of life's ups and downs, made me into an iceman. i said i like girls before, but most likely are just infatuations nothing more. i have always told myself that only personality prevails over image. but im just another fraction of the countless hypocrites out there, not till last year though.

I'm a sucker for astrology, but now i dont really like it at all. it says my zodiac sign dosent go well with the girl. Pissed . wanting to go against the books, i told my close friend my plans. now all is for naught, realising my last week is actually this coming week kinda make me moody. never really smiled , just sulked the whole day, cept for a couple of times when i talked to her.

I never felt more miserable, not even when i left my dad's side.
This is a more matured misery. lol.

listening to "Mesmerized" by Lifehouse

2007-09-07T17:31:00.001+08:00

wahahha 2 days gone and i've been to study with michelle zifeng kokleong and russell they all left in awhile so left me and zf. not much happened on that day. the second day, me jr and zf went out quite late, bout evening or something. we had pizza allllll the way at tampinese because of the stupid squabbles we have but hey we now hate cheese!(theres no link, no worries) and today the 3 of us went back to school and study and came back home. boring shi this is

ciao

a random picture of mich drinking her coke.
DARK MAGICIAN POLE DANCING BABY!
yea he drank all that and he is also trying to act sexy.he gets kinky after his meals

WE FINISHED ALL THAT. we should have called for backup

the top fingers are jr's, the ones at the right is zf's and the three stubby ones in the middle are mine. it was cut of and served back to me..

overwhelming cheese delights. oh yea we finished it.

2007-09-04T23:11:00.000+08:00

today is my mum's birthday and we ate sushi...i think im gonna have a phobia for sushi soon. i met my cousins whom i didnt meet in a long time. sabrina (the younger one) was funny and was tall, she is what i like to describe the dvd player. she can stop being funny one min and the next go back to where she left off with her machine gun laughter . ally was still the same and she is in a uni, how cool is that lol. they later left and my mum sis and me left for plaza sing. eugene came and we ate again. the setting looks nice. than my sis andrew and me went to spotlight.had fun and went to buy stuff in carrefour. and im here. normal day.

hehehe i know i got guts
ball grabbin fun time
i look like mr ham-burgler
i love the way it looks, simplicity at its best!

2007-09-02T21:04:00.000+08:00

well me and zf went to jr house to study physics and yes we did learn a few things. we went on to watch hairspray. kinda funny not lame just a lil boring but it really shows the morals it wants to present to the public.

1. music and dance does not discriminate any race
2.there is more to just how you look, its the personality that makes you gorgeous.
3.i can fit into a booth of a car( hooray for that!)

i give it a 7 out of 10.

2007-08-31T23:52:00.000+08:00

hehehe jun rong zi feng me and WAN YI! went for sushi today and this time it was jr's turn to pay for the bills( means he pays the service charge and gst ) wahahhaa than we decided to watch Evans almighty. the show said that the word ARk meant A Random Kindness. saying you can change the world by doing one random act of kindness can go a long way. START TODAY!!! we than decided to go play pool but zf had to leave so left the 3 of us. we reached the bowling alley at safra and went in ...very cool but we couldnt use the facilities at all... it was booked by a freaking primary school....bastards. i took picture this time hehehe we later went to the coffee shop near wanyi house and had supper and finally went home and here i am.

lol courtasy of me
hhahaha the pic damn cool right

pose seh lol the place was luminous or something
his shirt was like glowing

2007-08-19T00:47:00.000+08:00

today was cool, jr kaven and i went to meet my pri school friends. meiyan and rachel and some malaysian guy...i dont know his name but he is a nice guy lol. we went to marina bay to watch fireworks, ended up running around to look for a place to eat, but we stil managed to see a good show of fireworks haha felt more like war. than we went our seperate ways home and i went to have coffee with jr. too tired to talk much. we head on home and now im here haha i didnt take photos so too bad all words again , ciao

2007-08-11T19:26:00.000+08:00

WELL. some day it was huh. i met yujun at his house this morning at 12, planning to go meet kwaiyan at 12.30 BUT apparently she had some matters to attend to herself lol. yujun and i thought we were going to be stood up lol. we had lunch together at the food court and i planned on going back like the loser i am and yujun decided to look for his girl. we were ratting on kwaiyan standing us up and all than my phone rang. IT WAS KWAIYAN lol yujun was like wtf PEOPLE THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT PLANNING PROPERLY and damn i regret. she said she was on her way so we walked around till she arrived.HAHA THIS IS THE IMPORTENT PART OF THIS POST THAT SOMEONE WANTED TO SEE! Than , in a distance, we both saw someone who wore a black shirt and jeans. Good figure(i bet you wanna see this right) BUT was short....HAHAHAHHAHA omg ! But i think short girls are better lol iono why anyway , we were awkward when we saw each other so we didnt had much to say so they had a puff and left lol and i stood there like an idiot. Honestly, i was just paranoid about her standing me and yujun up, i was wrong , very wrong. i really have nothing to say though....

To KY: you changed a whole bunch, you look better, you look shorter, you have a real good figure, HONESTLY....i sound like a perv. and most of all you were so different from what i thought you'd be(which is good).

i know this post is boring sorry

2007-08-10T00:40:00.000+08:00

This might be dull cause i have no photos. Well happy birthday to this sucky country... my friends think half the nation was there, haha the padang and city hall was a giant can of sardines, pack like fuck...literally. we couldnt get a view and started wandering around, there were places so quiet and deserted lol we bought drinks and sat on the curb outside 7 eleven and talked( i had an idea for a great photo but we didnt take, same happened when we were at cineleisure) so we went back home in the end. i'm bored. dead bored.

2007-08-07T18:27:00.000+08:00

Face Down lyrics by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.

Hey girl you know you drive me crazy
one look puts the rhythm in my hand.
Still I'll never understand why you hang around
I see what's going down.

Cover up with make up in the mirror
tell yourself it's never gonna happen again
you cry alone and then he swears he loves you.

Do you feel like a man
when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.

A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect
every action in this world will bear a consequence
If you wade around forever you will surely drown
I see what's going down.

I see the way you go and say your right again,
say your right again
heed my lecture

Do you feel like a man
when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down a new life she has.

One day she will tell you that she has had enough
its coming round again.
its coming round again.

Do you feel like a man, when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the grown?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has.

Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt she says I finally had enough..
Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt she says I finally had enough..

YEA !!!

2007-08-04T22:35:00.000+08:00

GOING OUT WITH A HOT CHICK OH YEA!

hahaha